Lingam massage

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam is translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure. The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space for the receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning and trauma. Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum, and Sacred Spot (the equivalent to the female G-spot), allow the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage. Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective. Before the massage, take a relaxing bath or shower if you have time. Relax your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there. Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results occur when the bowels and bladder are empty. Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner: listen to each other, heart beat, look into each other's eyes, bring both of you to relaxation and trust. Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to an often neglected area of the body. Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull UP and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/penis and then sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands. Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. Grab his Lingam with both hands in tight fists around it, and move your fists opposite each other like you are wringing out a washcloth. Hold his shaft in one fist and, with lots of oil, rub the other palm quickly back and forth across the tip of the head of his Lingam with firm pressure. Take his Lingam in both hands with your fingers on its topside and thumbs its underside. Look for the very sensitive spot on its underside, right at the very top of its shaft in the little triangle where the edges of the bottom of the head of his Lingam converge below the tip. Massage this area with the pads of your thumbtips, one following the other, with lots of oil and varying speed and pressure. If he has an uncircumsized foreskin, occasionally pull it all the way down with one hand, and, with lots of oil, run your other fist up and down its full length, occasionally "polishing" the head of his Lingam. Hold his balls gently but firmly in one hand, pull them down as far as his ballsack will stretch, and grasp his shaft in your other fist and stroke its full length, occasionally polishing the head. With all these moves which make a fist round his shaft, alternately squeeze him hard, harder than you think you should - and make your strokes without squeezing at all. Keep making it interesting and changing. Alternate among all these different moves, remembering that the motion which most advances his orgasm is a long stroke surrounding his shaft and going all the way along its full length in each stroke. Any given man's sexual response is not always the same like the movements in a Kabuki play; at times his orgasm is best advanced by a number of short strokes, as short even as a couple inches only, alternating with the full strokes. One method which is nearly always successful for some men when orgasm is the goal is to begin, slowly, with a large number of short strokes followed by one or two full strokes, and as you very, very gradually make the tempo faster, also change the mix of strokes so you gradually do fewer short strokes and more full strokes; when you are ready to let his orgasm take him, at the last phase of the finish you will most probably abandon short strokes altogether. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is said many ailments can be cured by receiving a good Lingam Massage. NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum. If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life. Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do this. One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism. The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is breathing deeply and regularly as you slip a finger from your left hand into the anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the pressure and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure, speed, and rhythm on his Sacred Spot. Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event from his past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. At the end, if he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he has come close and held back at least SIX times before ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he wants to send this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of their being). When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike innocence and magnificent male beauty. Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and loved ones. A very interesting variation on the Lingam Massage involves massaging it with the woman's PC muscle. Again the goal is not orgasm, though this practice will be very effective if that is what you both want any given session. Have him lie prone, and sit astride him, facing him, in position to receive his Lingam into your Yoni, but keeping it out of you at first. Give him some good Lingam Massage with your hands using lots of oil. One massage move you can do in this position which is very pleasurable for him is to place one or both your hands along the upper side of his Lingam and press the underside of his shaft against the slit of your Yoni, flexing your hips to the angle where your bodies match so your Yoni's slit touches along as much of his length as possible. Hold your hands still against your lower belly and rise and fall, making his shaft push aside your pussy lips and rub deep in your slit, which should be wet and slippery with the oil if not your own juices. While in this position, you should also rub that very sensitive little triangle under the head of his Lingam against your clitoris in every direction, speed and pressure you can think up, which is good for you both; if your clitoris is not already hard it will be soon, increasing the intensity with which it stimulates this sensitive place on his Lingam. When it is time to begin the PC muscle massage, first rise enough to take him in you, but hesitate while you hold his shaft in one hand and rub the sensitive tip of the head of his Lingam up and down through the full length of your Yoni's slit, which should be very wet and slippery by now, all the way from your clitoris to your anus, several times. What you want to focus on through all the rest of this practice is that you want to do it so it does not advance his orgasm - unless and until you both feel it is the thing to do. You stay with that goal by avoiding fast full-length strokes deep into you. Move slowly and deliberately all through this. Finish rubbing his head in your slit by leaving it rest in the opening of your pussy mouth, just touching you; be sure you are positioned where his Lingam's shape and angle of rest will not take it out of there, and where you can take him inside you with the least possible friction. Lower yourself very, very. very slowly, almost seeming not to move at all. (This can be used as a single stroke in regular intercourse, which when maintained for a long time is guaranteed to drive a man mad.) When you have all of him inside you, move around to be sure you are in the right place, where your PC muscle is all the way down at the very root of his Lingam where it leaves his body, and there is no more of it you can get inside you. (This is possible with most pairs who are not unusual. One Tantra student's sample of around 90 women, which is admittedly unscientifically selected (being not women representative of the population, but women he thought would be good sex partners), but has the slight advantage of an element of randomness (being those women selected who agreed to go to bed with him), found only four, about 4 1/2%, whose Yoni was too short to accept all of a medium-to-medium-large length 7 3/4-inch Lingam. And one of the four had no difficulty doing so after a week of conscientious and frequent practice....) Once you are as closely joined as is possible, just sit still. Gaze into one another's eyes. Massage his front. Kiss him - at first, wet is OK, even deep tongue wrestling, but only if very slow and soft. Sit back up straight, and stay still for a while. Signal him the PC massage is beginning by giving the very root of his Lingam your PC muscle's hardest squeeze. Let it go. Do it again. Gradually pick up speed until you are squeezing him as hard and fast as you can - then stop and sit still. Slide and flex your hips back, with your PC muscle (let's use PC for short) relaxed, so the top of your PC presses firmly down on the top of his shaft until it is bent as far down as you feel comfortable taking it without hurting him. Swivel your hips and move so the right edge of your PC presses the very root of his shaft as far to the left as it will go. Swivel and move so the bottom of your PC presses his shaft as far forward as it will go, without sliding out of you. Make the left edge of your PC press his shaft as far right as it'll go. Translate these moves into a very slow, smooth circling motion all the way around the very root of his Lingam. You will feel his wand move around inside you with its head traveling a larger circle around the top of your vagina. Make your circle as wide as you can without hurting him or sliding him the smallest distance out of you. Keep this up for a little while staying at the utmost root of his Lingam. When it feels right, begin to raise your magic circle along his shaft. Do so as slowly as you first took him inside you. Your circle will become smaller as you rise, to keep him in you. Rise until he is actually all outside you, and you are barely touching him; here your circle will be nearly infinitesimally small, just keeping enough downward pressure on him to keep him in the hollow outside your pussy mouth. Pause here, still circling, the soft slippery tissues in your pussy mouth "polishing" the tip of the head of his Lingam. Reverse the direction of your magic circle and begin taking him back inside you, as slowly as before. When you can get no more of him inside you, pause here and make the large firm magic circle for a little while. Reverse the direction of your circle and begin rising, as slowly as before. Keep this sequence up for several minutes. Once you have it down pat and more activity won't distract you, you may want to caress his front with your fingertips as far as you can reach without disturbing your basic practice. He should become very aroused, but his orgasm should not approach because you are not fucking him fast and deep. When you have him very aroused, but before he begins to show any impatience (men can seem to women as if they are mentally deficient in lack of patience when appropriate), rise until you are parted, continue your circling keeping the head of his Lingam where it will go easily back in you, and surprise him before you take him through the next step. First making sure your position and angle will work doing this, release all tension in your thigh muscles so you drop down his shaft with breathtaking swiftness - and you will probably take his breath away with this, after the long slow pace of the first-phase PC massage. Rise off him just as swiftly, then get off from astride him and, gently this time, rearrange your positions. Spread his legs as far as comfortable and kneel between them facing away from him. Gently lift his knees and slip your feet under his thighs, backing up until you are once more in position to take him back inside you. Move your knees as far apart as you can. This position may be awkward enough you need your hand to get the head of his Lingam started inside you, but first try to do it no-hands; the touching between your Yoni and his Lingam will be interesting to both of you. Now you will not be able to move your hips as freely in as many planes of motion as before, so with him inside you your PC massage on the shaft of his Lingam will involve more squeezing with your PC, although you will continue to do the magic circle as ingeniously as your position allows. Also, in the reversed position you have become more completely the giver, since your clitoris is now unable to rub against his body and arouse you further. Now you will work on stimulating him so his orgasm approaches, letting it approach and recede six times as in regular Lingam Massage. You may or may not finish letting his orgasm take him. You have reversed position on him so you can do all the other things that go into a Lingam Massage. You can be very attentive with your hands to his balls, to his shaft where it won't go inside you in this position, and to his perinieum and his sacred spot. In this phase you will move your Yoni in any way you can think of, including the magic circle, which will advance his orgasm. This means more in-and-out strokes, short and long. The same sequence of mixing short and long strokes works as well in PC massage of the Lingam as it does using your hands - or even better, because it completely surrounds his Lingam and feels so much softer to it than your hands. Alternate and mix everything up until you have him very aroused again, then focus on something like the short-long strokes mix to advance his orgasm, then let it recede by returning to mixing things up. While you are reversed on him and he cannot see your face and breasts (really, you must believe it's mostly your face, because of the depth of emotion you may express gazing into one another's eyes!), you should give him visual and vocal stimulation (men's sexual response is much more visually-based than women's) by letting your head loll back, rolling your head, tossing your hair, making soft musical sexy sounds, and moving your body overall in ways that show you are enjoying this very much too. If and when you let his orgasm take him, you may do it staying in the reversed position, in which you may want to move your legs outside his so you have more freedom of movement, or you may want to return to the astride-facing position so you can hug and kiss as you take him over the waterfall.