Cheating destroys love. It destroys relationships, or, perhaps it's a first sing of deterioration. Unfortunately, it happens a lot, as 40-50% of marriages fall apart according to U.S. Bureau of the Census. There are many reasons to it, but I want to talk about one of them - cheating, because this is my personal tears.

Knowing that your partner is unfaithful to me hurts like hell. My heart breaks, I loose sleep, I got hot and cold flashes. I take two advils, but in vain. This medicine doesn't help to relief this kind of pain. What do I do? I just wait till he comes home. It's a very long wait, when every second is your heartbeat - you can count them slowly. Minutes become centuries, perpetual centuries of torture. Now the pain spreads from the heart to my stomach and I get stomach sick. What a jerk! Why do I suffer so much? For what? Only because this man is sticking his tong in someone's mouth and his penis in someone's vagina? What do I care?! - I try to convince my mind that what is happening is OK. But my body does not listen; now I feel notions and would through up if I have anything in my stomach. May be I should have some food, may be I feel better. Instead, I call my girlfriend and cry on a phone. She knows. Her boyfriend is cheating too. How many times she promised, she swore that she will break up with him - but she can't. And she doesn't even live with him.

Cheating in return doesn't help. Cheating in return laves a bad aftertaste and feels even worse. It feels like shit afterwards, even if you really liked the person. It was like this for a while, and always will be like this. I have to break up with my boyfriend because he will always chit on me and I will occasionally spend agonizing nights in bed all by myself for the rest of my life. Or I have to learn how to live with it without letting my emotions go off the wall. If emotions are the source of this pain. However, it seems to me there is nothing to do with emotions here. It's something else, some very intimate connection being broken. It's a n open wound that is bleeding, a very real one, on the place where we have connected while living together for two years, sharing same food and same bed. This is what hurts so much.

How to avoid this pain? I see two solutions: ether break off that person completely or he has to stop cheating. He never will. Therefore, cheating destroys relationships. Love was drown in pain. My soul cries. To escape, I am forced to go higher, above myself, to the spirit. As I arrive, I instantly begin to see all this perturbations are vanity and don't worth a bent penny. I laugh at myself. The life is beautiful. My life is short and precious. Why should I spend another second in pain? The pain is gone. Cheating destroys love only when the love is selfish. The true love, that, they say is God, shines into darkness and banishes pain. Or is it advil began to work?

Short relief. My worry begin to come back as soon as I think about him again. This neurosis going to destroy not only my love, but also me. I can not avoid my ego as long as I live on earth and have my body to take care of. I better get out of this burning and depressing relashionship fast - here we go, the statistic must be right! I have to meet a fateful man. I hope, I won't cheat on him.

"Cheating"

by Anya Deva